They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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