Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
