I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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