At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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