i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
