weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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