"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
