I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
