How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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