All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
