when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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