You can't motorboat a personality
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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