All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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