The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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