Your mouth is God's brothel.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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