How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
