I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Success! We fucked roommates!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
