ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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