after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize