So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
