idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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