so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she smelled like a LAN party
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize