yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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