So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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