if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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