I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
