glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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