I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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