the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
