you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
