Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i've created a new STD.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
