I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
