Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize