I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
