I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize