He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
