I hate your face
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
