So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
