i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
