my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
