I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
