I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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