This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize