He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
