we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
