Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
