soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
