They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
