Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
