She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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