Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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