it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
