(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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