Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
