That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
