You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
