I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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