I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
