I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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