You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
