That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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