just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
