I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i've created a new STD.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
