It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
